South Africa and Japan are Almost Alike!

Here's a little comparative analysis that proves that these two countries aren't so different after all...
In South Africa homeless people rummage in dustbins for food... In Japan, homeless people rummage in dustbins for batteries for their minidisc players.
In Japan, taxi doors are opened and closed by a silent hydraulic system operated from the driver's seat...In SA, taxi doors are held on with bent coathangers and operated by a toothless, tattooed gangster screaming "MaaauubreiKaaaaaap!"
In Japan, criminal activity is carried out by the Yakuza... In SA, criminal activity is carried out by the government.
In Japan, in the event of an accident, the emergency services respond by immediately sending a police car, an ambulance, a fire engine and a diplomatic task force... In SA, the emergency services respond by saying "Call back if somebody dies".
In Japan, trains often run exactly on time... In SA, trains often run off the rails, into each other, or through station walls.
In Japan, most people smoke... In SA, most people smoke ganja.
In Japan, millions of people live in tiny houses made out of highly insulated lightweight materials... In SA, millions of people live in tiny houses made out of highly flammable lightweight materials
In Japan, you can go to a public toilet and flush, wash your hands and dry them without having to touch anything... In SA you flush with your foot, turn the tap with your elbow and dry your hands on your pants because you don't want to touch anything.
In Japan, government officials are rich because everybody works hard and pays taxes... In SA, government officials are rich because they get kickbacks from arms deals and steal money out of the National Lottery.
In Japan, you can get a new cellphone every few months because the service providers like to keep their customers abreast of the latest technology... In SA, you have to get a new cellphone every few months because the f#%*!ng things keep getting stolen.
In Japan, if you get on the train without a ticket, you can pay at your destination... In SA, if you get on the train without a ticket, you can get arrested (that's if it doesn't derail and crash into a wall first).
In Japan, the bank automatically deducts money from your account because it can pay your water and electricity bill for you... In SA, the bank automatically deducts money from your account because it can.

I love South Africa and I'll be back in the not-too-distant future.